TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Firstly, why must dog-owners watch while their pets pee? I just don't get this.

Secondly, working a real cash register is so fun! This, of course, comes from the woman who didn't play house when she was a girl. Oh no - I played "store." And during this exceptional playtime, I would sit at the desk in the bonus room and pretend that people would come and order items from whatever catalog was handy (usually JCPenney's or Sear's) and I would use my dad's calculator to tally the total. I would also write the stock number down so I would know what people ordered. Was I made for retail or what?

Thirdly, I'm sad that I haven't gotten my latest InStyle magazine. It's really one of the biggest ones ever and Katie got hers weeks ago. I filed a "missing" issue complaint on the website today, but all I get in return is a month extended for free on my subscription. This is great at all, but I just really wanted the damn issue I'm missing. I'm wondering if my mailman is unable to throw it onto our doorstep because it's so big so he just decided not to even try. You see, one of the weirdest things about this apartment is that we have no mail slot - instead we have a metal security gate on our front door which has one or two select spots where the larger mail can go, and all of these slots are quite high. And I know for a fact that our two mailmen are short, Asian men who probably hate mail for 379 Hermann. Damn.

Lastly, my feet ache.

VEGAS, BABY

Gambling is a new phenomenon for me. Being that I am soon to marry a man who could spend his whole life in rotating poker tournaments, you would have thought I would be more up on the gambling side of things. In Vegas, this past weekend, I finally sat at my first table in a casino and played blackjack. It was quite fun and though I didn't do as well as I did at the roulette table (I made $70 playing for over an hour and a half), it was fun to actually sit and play - and gain more skill than I previously possessed. Winning is the ultimate high - which is why I am still reeling from putting a $100 chip on black as we were walking out of the casino on our way to the airport and doubling my money. It was quite a thrill. But even when you don't win, the whole show is amazing and the energy is great. I think I'm hooked.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER

Have you seen the new Gap ads - magazine or tv - with her and Lenny Kravitz? Pretty cool (well, at least SJP is; personally, I'm not a big Lenny fan). Should be a fun company to work for - I'll let you know. I start on Monday!

AN UNSATISFYING ENDING

or, three to be exact.

Three movies over the course of twenty-four hours and not one of them ended in a satisfying way. Obviously, I won't go into detail here on what the actual endings are, but I will tell you the movies: 1. Open Water, 2. Collateral, and 3. The Manchurian Candidate. (However, if you have seen any or all of these movies, feel free to be in contact to discuss.) What I don't understand is how filmmakers seem to make a decent, though not spectacular, three-quarters of a movie and then just blow it with a tepid or unrealistic ending. And that's what makes or breaks a movie for me - and I would think most other audience members. As an avid movie-goer, I believe that an ending needs to be true to the rest of the film, as realistic as possible (for those films trying for truth, not art), and enlightening or moving. Make me feel something! Anger, sadness, repulsion, fear. Not disappointment, confusion, or disbelief. I'm quite agitated at the state movies are in. I pray, with fingers crossed, that Alien vs. Predator does not end with the two of them chomping on cigars as they hold hands and walk into the sunset of the not-so-distant future. But I wouldn't be surprised, just disappointed - again.

BACKWARDS ADULT

I applied for a retail job at the Gap today and I realized that I am living my adult life backwards. Most normal people apply for a job at the Gap the summer after college, just for quick money, while they look for a full-time corporate job. Then they spend a couple of years in the corporate world and decide they want to do something more meaningful with their life - like teach. They then go back to school to become a teacher and spend the rest of their life doing just that. Oh, not I, I say. I went into teaching first. Then I entered the corporate world and with that experience over with, I now head into the Gap. Afterwards, we'll see what awaits me - perhaps another college degree...

Tonight I was trying to clean out my email folders because all my wedding emails are taking up a lot of storage space and I'm quickly running out. I spent some time rereading those emails that are lucky enough to make it into my "Make me smile" folder and I realized there is nothing like a folder of that type. I really should reread those emails more often. Adrian and I kept cracking up at all the funny things people have written me over the years. Like an old student beseeching me in 1999 "to stay on new years because crazy people are going to be shooting other people." It's a folder I highly recommend everyone have, especially for those not-so-good days when you need a little pick me up.

Update: Coordinated wedding is on - Fiona finally got back to me.